It’s unfortunate when two people fall under the assumption that compatibility can be forced, molded, and applied at will to their relationship, regardless of the white elephant in the room trumpeting warnings of the obvious.
When I met MM, I quickly realized that the list of things we had in common was far shorter than the list of ways we were polar opposites. We were decidedly cavalier about disregarding the aforementioned lists, and began to jump headfirst into what could only be described as a whirlwind of time together, plans, and emotions. As invigorating as this was, it was obviously a poor decision on both of our parts.
My slight interest in MM was confusing to me at first. He was different than most of the men I’ve ever been interested in, and again, we were polar opposites.He was older, in the military, very intellectual, driven, almost brutally honest, and had a bit of a wild streak. Then I realized- the reason why I was interested was for the very fact that he was different than most of the men I had ever been interested in. The extremity of the differences left me feeling intrigued and always wanting more, so I sought after it. Through my short dealings with him, I saw qualities that I found incredibly attractive, which are now on my (ever growing) list of things I want in a man.
This morning, MM and I decided to not see each other anymore. It was the most mature and easiest break-off I’ve ever experienced, and it left me feeling relieved. In recent days, the questions and frustrations far exceeded the fun that we originally had been having. When a relationship becomes more of a struggle than anything, it’s time to go. I feel the decision was made at the perfect time.
MM was a good thing for me, though, as unlikely as it may seem. For one thing, he constantly encouraged me to speak about myself more positively. I fall often under the spell of making disparaging comments about every flaw I find in myself, but he helped me out of that, for the most part. He consistently reiterated the notion that confidence is sexy, and no one wants to pull up someone with low self esteem on an hourly basis. For once, I began to feel very confident, largely as a result of MM’s compliments, but also in his urging for me to speak more highly about myself.
Another lesson this situation with MM taught me is that compatibility is either present or not. With the amount of eligible single people in this world, there is no excuse for attempting to force anything in regards to working together properly. I believe there is someone out there for everyone, and neither party should have to make extreme sacrifices just to make it work.
It’s my first day alone in Vermont, and I came to all of these realizations before eight in the morning. Yes, I envision a summer full of lessons learned, and I am thrilled about the prospect.
Thanks for the great time, MM, and thanks for all you taught me.
